It is possible that for someone with a chronic, high-frequency masturbation habit, they may need a Step Down Program to be able to reduce the chemical addiction aspect of their sexual addiction before being able to reduce and then reject masturbation as a coping mechanism. I am borrowing the phrase “Step Down Program” from the drug, alcohol, and nicotine programs that help individuals with serious and stubborn addictions.
There is some good reading on this topic on the Covenant Eyes website.
Why a Step Down Program?
For someone with a chronic, high-frequency masturbation habit, their first few weeks in SA could be rather discouraging. They attempt to stop cold turkey, make it for a few days, and then slip or engage in an all-out binge that makes sobriety seem impossible. If you cannot seem to get past 2 or 3 days of sobriety and then slip over and over again in a repeating pattern, you might need an SDP. Why? There is a chemical aspect to a sexual addiction. Porn releases small hits of some of these hormones, but during orgasm, the brain releases the biggest cocktail of hormones including:
- Dopamine – triggers craving and pleasure
- Norepinephrine – causes alertness and focus (like adrenaline)
- Oxytocin – binds the long-term memories of the experience
- Vasopressin – connects to the source or object of sexual pleasure
- Endorphins – natural opiates that create a wave of pleasure
- Serotonin – creates a sense of calm and relaxation afterwards
How does an SDP work?
The principle is to start at a point where you are challenging yourself to REDUCE your frequency to an achievable level and maintain that for a short time to allow your brain and body to adjust to the new chemical levels. Then continue with a small step to reduce your frequency again and maintain that for a short time. Review some of the sample Step Down Programs in the files below to see some examples.
Does everyone need an SDP?
No. Some are able to white knuckle their way to sobriety because of a low-frequency masturbation habit or a high degree of self-discipline. Some are able to achieve sobriety due to intense motivation or life circumstances. Those that typically NEED a Step Down Program are those that have been practicing a high-frequency masturbation habit for a long time.
What is a High-frequency Masturbation Habit?
There is no universal standard and you must self-diagnose. Some general guidelines might be:
- Very Low – 1 or 2 times per month
- Low – 1 or 2 times per week
- Mid – 1 time per day
- High – 2-5 times per day
- Extreme – 10 or more times per day
How are slips handled in an SDP?
For many in a sobriety program, the operating standard is 100% sobriety and any slip is a failure and loss of sobriety. A Step Down Program looks at sobriety differently. The goal is to make steady and slow progress to reduce the frequency of masturbation in order to reduce the chemical influence in achieving sobriety. A “slip” in a SDP is not a big deal unless you keep slipping and cannot maintain the desired pattern for that week. In that case, you may have proceeded to the next level before your brain and body adjusted. Go back to the previous level and stay there another week.
How long does an SDP last?
It will last as long as you need it to in order to meet your goal. That’s a cheap way of saying there is no universal standard. I have created programs that last 6-weeks for some in the Mid category and 12-weeks for those in the High category. But if you move to a level that you can’t achieve, you should slow down and extend the program.
How does progress happen in an SDP?
After you have identified the right level to start your program, you follow the prescribed pattern for at least a week. If you felt that it was not very difficult and you were not plagued by urges to act out all week, you can discuss with your sponsor and proceed to the next level. You continue this pattern moving from level to level until you have reduced your masturbation drastically and possibly eliminated it.
Do I also need to do the Steps?
Your sexual addiction is comprised of both chemical and behavioral habits embedded in your life and linked to emotional triggers. The SDP only addresses the chemical aspect of your addiction. In a sense it only helps you boost your ability to white knuckle enough to think clearly without distraction for you to do the Steps which will address the emotional triggers and behaviors.
Examples
Review the sample schedules below to view different examples. You can download a PDF in the Resources folder, or an Excel, or Google Sheet version in the File Versions folder.
