This is a story I often share. I have used the illustration that my addiction is like the dual, muddy trenches I have created on a dirt road that holds my tires and keeps me from turning off. When I try to go in a different direction, the trench wrenches at the steering wheel and pulls my tires back. It seems impossible to go in a new direction other than where the trench leads.
If I had a truckload of gravel or pebbles, I could fill those trenches and steer out of being stuck. How do I fill those trenches? Do I have any pebbles?
Everything I do in recovery is a pebble:
- Going to meetings
- Reading recovery material
- Doing check-in’s
- Making phone calls
- Making an action plan
- Staying sober 1 more day
Each of these actions throws a pebble into those trenches. It seems like it will take forever. But after consistent and persistent effort and action in the little things, my tires will have enough traction to turn out of those trenches and head in the healthy direction I want to go.